Men and women are different in many ways, including in the signs of depression. A woman may be more likely to openly express her sadness, depressed guys often reflect these symptoms internally.
According to the NIMH, signs of depression in men include:
- Feel tired and irritable.
- Lose interest in work, family and hobbies.
- Are more likely than women to have trouble sleeping.
We find that men who are depressed commonly isolate themselves and stop doing the things they enjoy. Their signs and symptoms of depression might show up in stress reaction or headaches,” said Jacob Diestelmann, Ph.D., psychologist with Marshfield Clinic Health System.
Quitting hobbies they enjoy and separating themselves from people they love can worsen depression.
“Support systems are so important. If you’ve lost contact with people, reengage,” he said.
Why are men depressed?
Men suffering from mental health struggles are less likely to be diagnosed or receive care for mental illness. One of the many reasons is because men need to “man up” or “tough it out.” The mental health stigma is that speaking out is a form of weakness.
Although mental health conditions are more prevalent in women, the rate of depression in men is nearly identical to women. The stark reality is more women may attempt suicide, but more men are likely are to die by suicide, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH).
It may sound stereotypical, but many men consider themselves the protectors and providers of their family. They’re the strong, stable supporters who can’t possibly have mental health issues.
“As the historic ‘providers,’ men have a perception they must keep emotions to themselves and be ‘strong’,” Dr. Diestelman said. “However, when they feel it’s wrong or inappropriate to share emotions, they can actually feed their depression.”
How to tell if a guy is depressed
Ideally, a man would tell his primary care provider if he’s depressed. That’s rarely the case.
Dr. Diestelmann often asks questions about how his male patients are sleeping, eating and if they’re having any relationship problems to gain insight. These questions offer clues into if a man is depressed or dealing with other mental health issues.
“We’ve made strides to fight mental health stigmas, but male insecurities about being perceived as weak still exist,” Dr. Diestelmann said. “I’m optimistic more men will address their depression head on, rather than letting it go untreated until it reaches a boiling point.”
Thinking and feeling are different
“An often-missed message is that it’s okay to find a balance between thinking and feeling,” he said. “If you ask a man how something makes him feel, he’s more likely than a woman to start by responding with, ‘I think…’. It’s helpful to address depression by learning the difference between ‘I think’ and ‘I feel,’ and that both are present with each other.”
A male can practice expressing his feelings. Understand that this does not mean he has to be dramatic or that he must cry to express them.
“These perceptions about men not showing emotion are based on historical stereotypes. Though these are changing over time, they still exist,” he said.
Completing these thoughts can help a man learn to express feelings:
- This is what I think.
- This is how it makes me feel.
- This is what I can do about it.
Depression: As treatable as broken bones
The most common causes of depression in men are rooted in genes, brain chemistry, hormones and stress, Dr. Diestelmann said. But guess what? It’s very treatable.
Primary care providers use a standard test to screen men for depression. Once men realize (and admit) a real problem exists, they’re usually open to treatment, which may include medication and/or therapy.
“Men are usually honest once they begin to talk about depression. Then providers and others can talk about how depression is a medical problem, demystify it and how it has a medical solution,” Dr. Diestelmann said. “It’s very rare we have a man who refuses treatment once we identify depression.”
Remember, if you’re depressed, seek help immediately. Denying or ignoring depression puts your health at risk, Dr. Diestelmann said, and it doesn’t always just ‘go away,’ without treatment.
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