Back-to-school stress: How to help your child cope

Sep 9, 2024

It’s normal to have back-to-school stress. Kids tend to feel nervous about a new schedule, teacher and classmates when the new year starts.

Female teenager taking an exam experiencing back-to-school stress — Transitioning from summer vacation to school creates many potential sources of stress for teens, like academics, social life and extracurricular activities.

“In child/adolescent behavioral health, we tend to see a surge in appointments and referrals for patients in the fall due to anxiety about the new school year,” said Dr. Kelsie Offenwanger, a child psychologist with Marshfield Children’s.

“These adjustments may be noticeable in sleep patterns, increased irritability, more defiance, frustration about school, arguments over homework, worries about friends and stress about daily responsibilities,” she said.

What’s causing school stress?

For some kids and teens, stress and anxiety start weeks before classes are in session and continues once the school year begins. Ask what makes school difficult. These common challenges can make school unpleasant:

Separation anxiety. Some kids fear something bad will happen to them or their parents if they’re separated.
Learning problems. Ask your child if he has trouble paying attention in class, doesn’t understand the information or worries about taking tests.
Problems getting along with others. Your child may be getting bullied by classmates or have trouble getting along with teachers.
Loud, busy school environments are stressful for some kids.

Dr. Offenwanger said a change in routine can be hard for anyone. Transitioning from summer vacation to school with a busier schedule creates many potential sources of stress like academics, social life and extracurricular activities.

“We are flooded with technology and information,” Dr. Offenwanger said, referencing the rise of the internet, smart phones and social media. “An adolescent’s brain may have trouble deciphering what facts to retain and what should be discarded. This can lead to difficulties remembering day to day tasks and increased frustration due to forgetting.”

Because of the ability to connect with peers online, teenagers may not step away from their social lives as much as they used to, and this can cause stress.

“As our minds and body are supposed to be calming down in the evening, the engagement in sporting events, test preparation or social apps can keep us alert. These experiences may cause intense emotions making it harder to fall asleep,” Offenwanger said.

Make back-to-school better for kids

Kids who are having problems at school may cry at drop off, refuse to go in the building or have frequent stomach aches or headaches in the morning.

Involve kids in back-to-school shopping.
Talk about good things you’ve heard about their new teachers and fun things they’ll learn.
Prepare kids for a successful year by spending 15-20 minutes a day reviewing what they learned last year
Transition them back into a sleep schedule.

Once classes start, praise anxious children for having good days at school. You can create a reward system for multiple successful school days.

Don’t get in the habit of letting your child stay home. Drop them off quickly and allow them to adjust to school. If that doesn’t work, slowly expose them to the situation they’re afraid of by letting them explore school with you and then alone.

Talk to your child’s teacher about potential learning problems and if there is need for an evaluation for learning disabilities.

Give children advice on how to handle bullying and follow up to find out if it’s working. Contact the school counselor or psychologist if bullying continues.

If your child’s experience isn’t improving, a child psychologist can help. They can teach skills to cope with general anxiety about school, social situations and stressful environments.

How parents can help prep teens for back-to-school

The first thing parents can do to help their children through the back-to-school stress is to be available to listen and show empathy.

Dr. Offenwanger suggests parents work to respect the feelings their child has rather than trying to diminish the size of the problem.

“Caregivers should try and remember that it is a privilege to hear about what your child might be feeling,” she said. “We need to provide a welcoming space where our kids feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and experiences knowing that we will not dismiss or judge them. Telling a teenager to get over it may make the situation worse.”

Rather than saying “It’s not a big deal,” try saying something like, “I hear what you’re going through. That must be hard.” Add extra time in the evening to talk with your teenager. Remind them you are there for them and will support them through this adjustment.

Most kids make it through the stresses of the new school year well and settle back into their school routines.

However, if your child is not settling into the new routines by two to four weeks into the year, talk with your child’s teacher or school counselor about your concerns. You also may contact your child’s provider for advice.

For questions about stress, talk to a Marshfield Children’s provider.

Schedule appointment Learn more about Behavioral Health